Jen explains why eating j-breakers is tough. Mine’s in the fridge. Planning to break it out again this weekend.
NOTE: Jen’s pants are A-mazing.
this dude pawdugan knows how to eat a jawbreaker.
when i get down that small (and it will happen eventually), i’m gonna try for sleeping giant.
Sessions #3 and #4
Arrived at a blue ring… 13.75 grams left.
Finished the blue ring. Arrrived at a white ring (pic above)…
13.55 grams left.
Pulled my tongue muscle yet again on Session #4. Yes, really.
“Lollypop Jawbreaker” by The Time
Haikus, white dudes, waiting for the right moves
It’s the first night, but I all ready like you
I really wanna kiss, thinking what might that prove
I don’t wanna be rude, I wanna wait ‘til the mood’s right
Talking bout hickies holding hands in the moonlight
You wear all
My favorite colors from the yellows to the reds
To the greens to the blues
From your round head, to your cardboard shoes
My mouth is watering, thinking bout your taste
I wanna lick your flavor down to your stick waist
You could be my ball and chain
Let’s settle down like gravity
My mama said you’re no good and all you’ll give is cavities
But you’re my sugar, I love the swirl in your retinas
And when I look at other girls it doesnt even upset ya
That’s trust, that’s a must, that’s us, plus
I love you so much, the lust won’t rust
When you walk you sparkle, you glitter and shine
When I saw you from a mile away, I knew you deserved a rhyme
So I wrote it down, and it went this way
It said hey girl, I’m here to stay
She’s my lollypop, she’s my lolly pop pop
She’s my lollypop jawbreaker never fade away
The second verse is usually about the breakup
But I still love her from her pumas to her makeup
Usually by then they start to cheat
They start to lie, and with someone else they meet
But this didn’t happen, I just kept rappin
She even wrote me love letters on the back of napkins
We take road trips all around
And were in the sheets and cuddling by sun down
I wake up with the roosters, and cook up some hash browns
I’m brushing my teeth, laughing more than the last town
Where we at now? I don’t really know
I see gerbils and hamsters
And cops wearing pampers
And Audrey Hepburn’s my personal dancer
Is it fair to kiss, a happy Aquarius
Even if your my lover slash therapist
I showed her to my family she said love forever
She said she’d neva leave me neva eva eva eva
So here we are both naked in the mountains
Top of the rock, just licking and lounging
It’s just me and her, it’s just her and me
It’s just that she’s god and eternity
So is we, and everybody
Candy grows from trees, and rivers arent bloody
She doesnt like parties, she’d rather read and study
Even cowgirls get the blues, but their boots arent muddy
She wrote me a song and it went this way
It said hey Chris, I’m here to stay
Cause
She’s my lollypop, she’s my lolly pop pop
She’s my lollypop jawbreaker never fade away
(She was beautiful as a cigar after a steak dinner)
Jawbreaker vs. Microwave
Or
Why kids are awesome.
Just want to assure you, I’m still working on my jawbreaker. Will have some photos and weigh-in data sometime in the near future. In the meantime, according to the Interwebs, “It would take 4.7 years for a frog to consume an entire MegaBruiser*!” I have no idea if this is remotely true (it’s probably not).
*”MegaBruiser” is a particular brand of 1-pound jawbreaker
I’ll be weighing my JB tonite when I get home, but until then, BEHOLD!
Wil Wheaton’s review of the classic 1982 videogame “Jawbreaker”:
At the end of each level, a cute little toothbrush comes out and scrubs your little chompy teeth clean.
A few people have asked whether I am brushing more often. YES, I brush right after every lick session. Getting cavities due to this challenge would be worth it, but I’m still doing what I can to be as hygenic as possible.
My food scale arrived this week, which means two things:
1) we’ll soon know exactly how much sugar I’ve eaten so far (assuming the jawbreaker weighed a solid 1-lb to start)
2) based on the 40 minutes of lick-time i’ve logged thus far, i should be able to calculate roughly how long it will take to finish this badboy. (semi-educated guess: 100 hours of licking?)
